How to memorialise your loved ones

What does memorial mean?

A memorial is an object or a location built to commemorate something - either a deceased person or a historical event where lives were lost. Memorials can take many different shapes and forms. They are usually permanent installations and can take the form of a building or structures like statues, sculptures, fountains, parks or benches. They can also take the form of something smaller in size like a plaque embedded in a tree or an inscription on the footpath.

What is a memorial service?

Rather than creating a full-blown memorial for a family member or a friend who has died many people choose to hold a memorial service. This is a ceremony that is used to honour the life of the person who has died. Memorial services are usually held after the body has been buried or cremated in place of a funeral. During the service people can give eulogies, sing songs, and share photographs of the person who has died.

Different ways to commemorate someone

There are many different ways you can commemorate the life of a loved one. When thinking about what kind of legacy you would like to leave for the deceased you should think about what kind of person they were and how they lived their life. If they were a nature lover, you may consider planting a tree, if they used to take long walks through the park or along the beach you might like to install a park bench or embed a plaque nearby. We have compiled a short list of ideas for memorials or memorial services to help inspire you so you can leave a lasting legacy for your family or friends.

Events or Ceremonies

• Hold a candlelit vigil

A candlelit vigil is a unique and heartfelt way to say goodbye to someone outside of a church environment. A vigil can be held anywhere you like - in a local park, on a beach or in the garden of your own home.

• Have a ceremonial bonfire

A bonfire is a chance to gather family and friends and pay respect to the life of a loved one in an informal way. Like a candlelit vigil, the location can be personalised to reflect the memory of the deceased. There is no limit on how many people attend and you do not need to cater for attendees so it is an easy way to minimise costs.

• Release butterflies or doves

It used to be common practice to release balloons into the air as a symbolic gesture after someone’s death. This is now frowned upon because of the environmental impact balloons have when they are released. Releasing butterflies or doves is an eco-friendly alternative to farewell a loved one during a memorial service.

Memorials

• Install a plaque

This can be an affordable yet personal way to honour the memory of a loved one. Customised plaques range in price from $25 to $250. You may need to get approval from your local council if you intend to install the plaque in a public place.

• Buy a memorial bench or donate one

If the deceased spent a lot of time in nature, donating a park bench can be a beautiful way to honour their life. Local councils, botanical gardens or private parks often offer programs which allow you to make a donation to place a bench in a local park. Park benches can range from $2,500 to $12,500 depending on the location.

• Plant a Tree

In a similar fashion to installing a plaque or a park bench some local councils and other private companies offer memorial tree planting services. The cost can range from around $1,000 to $50,000 depending on the maturity of the tree and the specific location.

• Make a charitable donation or form a charity

If a family member or friend died as a result of a traumatic accident or as a result of illness, addiction, or mental health issues you may consider donating to a relevant charity. Some people even form their own charity to raise awareness or support a cause which resulted in their loved ones death.

Memorial gardens

A memorial garden can signify one of two things: it can be a natural memorial set up to honour a specific person who has died, or it can simply be another name for a cemetery. In this blog we will be discussing the first meaning - a garden curated by you to memorialise someone close to you who has passed away.

Creating a garden can be a fantastic way to take your mind off the death during the grieving process and also provide a permanent setting for you to commemorate the person who has died in beautiful surroundings. A memorial garden can be a simple tribute to the deceased or it can serve as a location to scatter their ashes after cremation.

If you are considering creating your own memorial garden the most important element is the plants you select. Try and think about flowers that mean something to the deceased. If they had an affinity for hydrangeas or daffodils, consider planting those. You may even be able to take cuttings or transplant existing shrubs or bushes from their own garden.

Otherwise consider how you would like the garden to look or smell when you spend time there - if you want a burst of colour year-round you will need to plant a mix of seasonal flowers. While Jasmine, Lilacs and roses give off a beautiful fragrance to any garden. Perhaps you would prefer to choose the flowers or plants to try and memorialise the person through their names- e.g forget me knots or Peace lilies.

You may also decide to curate the garden based on some of the traditional meanings behind flowers. You can read our post on funeral flowers to find out more about some of the ways flowers can represent different meanings for more inspiration.